I have seen recently on Twitter the #PlusSizeDebate. In light of this debate, I wanted to share my experience being a plus size woman throughout most of my life, from childhood, through teens and now in adulthood. Plus Size is something which, until recently was pretty much considered Taboo, however, it is now something which can be seen all over the world - and it's not necessarily something to be embraced. Yes I look at my legs and feel like they are horribly elephant like and yes I look at my chin and wish I had a heart shaped face but I'm healthy and I have just built up the confidence to show that I love me for me and my size, as long as I'm not hurting myself, is irrelevant to who I am as a perso - and surely that's what should count. Ask yourselves if you talked to someone on the web without seeing a picture of them and you really liked them and had lots in common and great conversations would that make them any less of a person if you later found out they were overweight? Sadly although a lot of people won't admit it, they would think less of them. And that's society gone mad!
I have always strongly believed that people should be happy with who they are, and that I am happy being a Plus Size woman. However, being overweight has caused me many problems, both physically and mentally over the years. So, whilst I can promote self-confidence and plus size beauty all I want, I must recognise the health risks and implications physically and mentally as well.
Childhood | When I was younger, I never considered weight to be a thing that would ever be something I was judged for. In primary school I was incredibly happy and had plenty of friends and the relationships I had with my peers were no different from those any child experienced. I was healthy, happy and full of life. I was only slightly overweight when I was in my childhood years, and it didn't affect my health or how I felt about myself.
Teenage Years | As soon as I reached my teenage years, things related to my weight started to matter. My peers started to think that my weight defined me as a person, and I was severely bullied to the point of becoming depressed and withdrawn from my friends and my studies. I didn't have any health problems, and I found doing gym class no more difficult than any of my friends - I was even a member of my schools tennis and javelin team for a short time. It wasn't until I got to my late teens that I started to notice myself more in a sense of becoming more interested in make up and fashion, and started writing about things I loved and making scrap books of outfits and beauty looks I liked and wanted to try. The only problem I had was my image - I couldn't fit into a lot of the clothes I wanted to try, and those I could fit in I never felt comfortable in or thought I looked good in as I was too large for them. I would see my friends wearing skinny jeans and strapped tops and looking beautiful, and all I could focus on when I wore such clothes was how much of my love handles would be noticeable and how much my arm fat would be judged when I went outside. I felt, looking at the world and the media that I wasn't good enough for the world and if I wasn't a size eight, I wouldn't be accepted.
Adulthood | Despite all the information that was received about the health issues of being overweight and the unacceptability in media, plus size seemed to be becoming a much more acceptable to a larger population. Whilst I have been fortunate to not have any health issues from my weight, apart from some mild issues at one point where my weight ballooned to a size 22 after some personal issues, I am aware that there is incredible evidence that weight influences and causes a lot of health issues. I'm in no way condoning gaining weight as healthy, but for some people it's not about being skinny or healthy - some people in the world (not me) are happy and want to be overweight as they feel it makes them more attractive. This, unfortunately is not the way I see it. I am in no way happy with the way I look, and I have some days that I stare in the mirror and hate the way I look and wish I was thinner and, in my opinion, prettier.
The Debate | The modelling and fashion world is one of the ones which is most centred in this debate or whether plus size should be shown. Some people believe that plus size women should be celebrated, and others think that anyone over a size eight shouldn't be shown as role model figures in magazines etc. Personally, I don't think, and this is coming from my plus sized mouth, that plus size models, at least those over a size fourteen, should be portrayed on the catwalk. Being a size sixteen to eighteen myself, I know I'm not perfect, and I know I need to loose weight. I'm not happy being overweight and unhappy, and I'm slowly doing something about it. But, I also don't believe that plus size should mean anyone over a size ten! People who are role models should be people who are happy and productive, despite the way they look, how they dress and how much they weigh. It's all about a middle ground, and whilst size fourteen or sixteen may not be thin, why should they not be allowed to feel good about themselves? Why should they be ridiculed because of this fact. One of the major assumptions of why people are overweight are so is because they are lazy, in some cases it isn't the case. I exercise as much as I can and I try and eat right, but no matter how much I try, I always feel, on every diet I have done that I get to a certain point and my weight loss stops, no matter what I do. Some people are just built bigger than others. It doesn't affect their personality and it doesn't affect who they are as a person.
Whilst I agree with the #PlusSizeDebate from the perspective that we shouldn't be promoting plus size above a healthy limit, for example, saying that being overweight to the point that it will in fact affect your health in a bad way, is right, I cannot accept promoting the ideal that being skinny and beautiful with perfect hair, makeup and clothes makes you better as a person. A person is not made from what they put on themselves, it's whats on the inside. Just because someone is a size eight and wears Prada, doesn't make them any happier, nicer, kinder, genuine and generous as someone who is size sixteen and wears Primark.
Let me know in the comments below what your opinions are on the #PlusSizeDebate - controversy is something that happens in life, everyones opinion is welcome, but please don't judge anyone for their opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own and it's not something they should be judged badly on. Not everyone thinks the same, so any comments deliberately spreading hate or considered bullying will be reported and deleted. Stay kind, thank you! :)
5 comments:
I completely agree with you to be honest. I don't believe either should be portrayed in such a positive light. Most size four and six women are incredibly underweight and are only used because they "display the clothes better". I was once a size 8/10 (after being a size 14-16 for a while) and was so unhappy, and I piled the weight back on following a miscarriage I had. I don't agree with them classing "plus size" as a size 12 though. To me that is not plus size, and portrays the image that anyone size 12 is big. I know it's supposed to have positive connotations but if someone commented on a photo of you saying "you're looking very plus size today" you wouldn't take it as a compliment, would you. Models should be a range of shapes and sizes, representing all different kinds of real women. I don't see why we should only have two groups of people underweight or overweight (that is if they were showing people of a size that made them unhealthy).
I am now a size 16 again and I hate it. I feel so pressured to lose weight. I know I probably will again some day, but I hate it. sometimes I eat certain meals and get so upset with myself I end up in tears and why? I shouldn't feel like this because of the body I have. Society is wrong.
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As a man who has always appreciated a fuller figured woman and dated girls from size 16-36, I have spent a lot of time hearing about the issue of finding pretty clothes in larger sizes and also spent a good deal of time sourcing plus size clothes and lingerie for Christmas and birthday presents.
I am pleased to see that the UK fashion market is finally responding to the obvious need, and better clothes are appearing from all angles at the moment. However, I am slightly disturbed to see that many of the leading lights like Tess Munster and others (who I won't go in to listing, as it's nothing personal) are also those who have gone down the route of being heavily tattooed, nose ringed, blue haired and perhaps a bit too 'alternative' to be accessible role models for 'ordinary' plus sized women. By that, I certainly don't mean anything derogatory to either the alternative community or the 'non-alternative'community for the sake of trying to describe a person.
As a man in the music and creative industry, among other occupations, I have had to swim against the tide of not being considered hipster enough because I didn't have a bushy beard or skinny jeans or dabble in recreational drugs, and I know that there can sometimes be pressure to feel that you must look a certain way to be accepted.
I wouldn't want to see the positive effects of being fat/voluptuous/curvy and beautiful being replaced by different pressures to feel that there is a need to also become a bit 'alternative' to fit that position. There should be room for ordinary people to enjoy being themselves without being shunted in to pigeon holes. David
I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I miscarried myself last August and it's such a horrible time. And it affected my weight too. I went from a size 16/18 to a size 22! I started experiencing health problems when I was that size but now I'm back to a 16/18 I feel happier. As I said above, not happy - but happIER. Size 12 isn't plus size I agree it's silly! It shouldn't be about how you look, it should be about how healthy you are.
It's a breath of fresh air to hear a man so involved and not discriminating women by the way they look. Health is the major issue here - and I think it's safe to say that a woman who is size 30 and suffering from sleep apnea (talking from a friends experience with here aunt) Is no more healthy than a size 4 model living on a 500 calorie a day diet. Thin doesn't equal healthy. Thank you for your opinions it's great to see some honest debate.
I think everyone focuses way too much on appearance! I've had plus sized friends my whole life that would talk about wanting to lose weight, and then they would "skinny shame" me. You know? "Oh my gosh, don't you ever eat anything. You need to go eat some burgers and put some meat on those bones." I don't think there will ever be a time when every body shape/size is seen as beautiful. I've always been small and slender and have been made fun of my entire life because of it. I would have comments such as "How are you so skinny? Do you ever eat?" I even had someone start a rumor about me that I was anorexic that followed me all through high school and it tore me apart. It doesn't matter what size you are because there will always be someone out there making fun of you and trying to make you feel bad about your body. And then there will be people that accept you for how you are and think you're beautiful no matter your weight or body shape. <3
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