#DoubleConfidence

I have recently seen averts knocking about for Estée Lauder's Double Wear Foundation, and after having such high compliments for the Perfectionist Youth foundation by them, I couldn't wait to try this new foundation. But the adverts also got me thinking about what makeup means to me and how it affects my confidence and personality, which I'd like to talk about to you guys!

Image from http://www.esteelauder.com

Makeup is one of those things that I was never really into when I was younger, going to an all girls school there didn't seem much point as there was nobody to impress. And that's what I thought until my mid teens, that makeup was shallow and something people wore to impress people. It wasn't until I tried makeup for the first time as a blemished teen that I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long while, kind of liked who I saw back. Makeup had done that. I know there are people out there who still see makeup as something that's shallow and slutty, but as with everything, there are so many different types of makeup and varieties of looks, not all of it can be lumped into one group of "models wear it to look fake, and girls wear it to look slutty". It's totally not true!

Makeup soon became one of those things for me after a few months that I started really becoming interested in, and it was about the same time that I started making new friends at school after feeling so isolated and un-included for over eighteen months. Creating new friendships and talking about makeup, despite being something I had only recently discovered, really boosted my confidence and I quickly started appreciating makeup not only for its ability to make me look better (or at least I perceived that it did), but also made me feel better within myself and more assured in my high school environment.

The more I used makeup, the more I fell in love, until I got into my late teens, where looks started to matter to people a lot more. As my friends started going out to town dressed up, I wanted to be included, however, as a lot of you will know, people can be very nasty at that age, While my friends got ready in their fitted dresses and did their makeup beautifully, using a natural look to enhance their features, I felt like the odd one out, and felt like I couldn't go out with my friends as I didn't like the way I looked in dresses (at least those that seemed acceptable for the nightclub scene) and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable going on nights out after hearing a number of people, in their drunken states, taking the piss out of how I looked and saying I shouldn't be in a club if I couldn't fit through the doors - yes, a comment that I actually got told by a girl in the bathroom of our towns Oceana - something which I'm sure her brain was never able to appreciate that it made no sense as I was already in the building!

I started using makeup more and more, and it became something of a distraction. I became obsessed with using makeup to the point of caking it on to cover as much of my features as possible to be able to recreate my face in a way that I liked. I thought that if I wore extreme amounts of makeup, people would focus on my face and not my large thighs. Eventually, I came to the realisation that makeup didn't distract people from this, and I had to accept myself for who I am.

Now, I am slowly increasing my confidence in my self-confidence and my self-image, thanks in a major way to all you lovely people who read my blog and connect with me on social media and treat me like a human being, despite my size. I have also been greatly inspired by a number of fellow plus size bloggers, in particular Louise Pentland (Sprinkle of Glitter) and Georgina Grogan (She Might Be Loved) who showed me through the power of their words and presence that it doesn't matter what you look like, it's who you are and how you grip people with your personality and passion that's important.

Makeup, at this point, became more of a thing that I loved again, rather than an essential tool to making myself look like a different person. I learned how to contour and what colour schemes and shades suited my face tone and eye colour, and learned how to enhance my natural features, which gave me more confidence that caking on makeup ever did. I can now appreciate makeup as a tool for self-confidence and to make yourself feel better, but also keeping yourself true to you.

I apologise for the sentimental feel to this post, I hope I've inspired you all rather than make you all sad. You can search for the Estee Lauder campaign by following #DoubleConfidence on Twitter, or visit their website here. This is not a paid promotion, it's just something I thought would be good to discuss as it's a large part of my life and my experiences that have brought me to actually blogging, and therefore talking to you today!

Let me know in the comments below your experiences with makeup and how you think it has changed your view of yourself and your confidence.